I’ve Been Nominated For The Liebster Award For Bloggers!

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Thanks to Tahir from over at Words Across Borders, I’ve been nominated for a Liebster Award! She is a self-described political junkie. I personally despise politics now (long story) so I try to stick to her poetry. Drop by and start clicking LIKE on things!

Liebster is basically an award by bloggers for other bloggers in a sort of chain. You can only nominate blogs with under 1,000 followers, so this is also a great way to give exposure to blogs you enjoy.

Here are the rules:

The Official Liebster Award Rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you and link back to their blog.
  2. Display the award somewhere on your blog.
  3. List 11 facts about yourself.
  4. Answer 11 questions chosen by the blogger who nominated you.
  5. Come up with 11 new questions to ask your nominees.
  6. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you think deserve the award and who have less than 1,000 followers.  (You many nominate blogs that have already received the award, but you cannot renominate the blog that nominated you.)
  7. Go to their blog and inform them that they’ve been nominated.

Okay here go the…

11 FACTS ABOUT MYSELF!

1. I am from Asbury Park, NJ and, though I’m super glad I don’t live there anymore, I take a great deal of pride in being FROM there. Growing up by the beach has desensitized me from caring much about beach vacations and things of that nature. And while I was growing up, it was a real shithole. They’ve been working hard to bring it up for years and it’s looking pretty good.

2. I worked in television for 20 years. I was a loyal member of CNN’s technical staff in New York City and when they illegally broke our tech contract in order to bust the union, we ended up in court. 0ver 100 former employees have been fighting them ever since and CNN keeps losing and appealing. It’s been 11 years.

3. I’m a hardcore geek. Always have been, as my avatar can tell you. I love comic books and superhero stuff especially. So I have an affinity for looking at cosplay. Not interested in participating in it though.

4. I write Yelp reviews in my spare time. When I moved from NYC to down south, I knew I’d need cool new things to do, so I banged out a ton of reviews until I was offered Yelp Elite, and therefore invited to lots of free events and parties. I’ve met some cool people and have constructed some sort of social life that way.

5. I hate cheese, unless it’s mozz on pizza. I find it so revolting.

6. I was married to a woman in New York City who divorced me and took the dog. The two things I hate the most from losing that union are, 1. she was rich 2. I miss my dog. In truth, I don’t miss the woman though.

7. I am currently unemployed, and have been for over a year.

8. But I’m not without money. My brother owns a detailing business and I work with him a few times a month. I am also a Yelp Brand Ambassador and they send me the occasional gig. I am a freelance Social Media Manager, and my clients include Edutainment, Detailed By Lamont, 319 Media Group and New Hope Outreach Church. I pick up some cash from all these gigs and they keep me from starving. I’m always looking though!

9. I moved from NYC to NC because my brother and sisters and their families are here. After the divorce, I decided that being with my family was probably a good idea, so I relocated.

10. One of my other jobs is staff writer for Nerd Bastards. It’s a geek entertainment site and it’s lots of fun. Go to the side of the page where it says “Meet All The Bastards” and click on it. I’m presently the only black guy on staff lol. Holy shit, four jobs is pretty good for a guy who’s unemployed…

11. I’ve been shaving my head since 1997. One time in my early 30’s, I decided to grow it out. Not only was it super thin on the very top, but it came in mostly gray. To hell with that idea.

And here are the Questions From Tahir!

The Questions:

1) What is your connection to place?

I have no idea what that means. I will shape it into something: I have an intense connection to France, particularly Paris and the French Riviera. The most beautiful places in the world, if you asked me. I hope to one day have a vacation home there, but hey…reality and all.

2) Who was one of your role models growing up?

As a comic book geek, my role models were superheroes. I also watched wrestling, which showcased a distinct difference between right and wrong, featuring good and bad guy characters. These things shaped within me a very strict code. Outside of fantasy, I was a jock and primarily played baseball. Rickey Henderson of the New York Yankees (at the time) was my favorite player and I worked hard to emulate him.

3) If you could talk to a past version of yourself, what would you tell him/her?

Don’t go into communications. Center on the things you’re deeply passionate about, even if they don’t make you rich. Even if you have ups and downs, at least you’ll love doing it. Some people have ups and downs just doing the things they’ve settled on. Don’t be one of them.

4) Are you political or a-political? Why?

I’m Liberal, leaning Libertarian, but I’m jaded on politics. There is no such thing as an honest politician and anyone who truly believes that their party or their chosen candidate is out for their best interests is fooling himself/herself. Those fuckers are out for themselves ONLY. It’s all bullshit and the only way to find a modicum of sense in that flawed structure is to vote for the person who tells the lies you like to hear. I voted for Obama because his lies were far less destructive to my personal lifestyle than the Conservative candidates’ lies.

5) Aside from writing/reading, is there a particular art form you enjoy?

I’m a junkie for creativity in all its forms, from painting to sketching to building anything from scratch. I respect and love it all. I’m also an artist, so if I had to pick something in particular, I’d have to go with drawing.

6) What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

They are too many to count. I was with my brother today and said, “I’ve done a lot of ill-advised, insane shit. But if I didn’t do them, I think I’d be bored with life.” I sometimes have daredevil behavior. I’m lots more boring with age, tho. There’s this ramped road that crosses a railroad track by my sister’s house. You have to take it gingerly. One night about 20 yrs ago, when coming to visit her, I said “fuck it” and upon approaching the asphalt incline, I hit the gas pedal. I probably jumped that ramp (in a Mercury Tracer no less) about 30 feet. My heart was pounding and the adrenaline rush was incredible. And I kinda messed up my car…

7) What color are your eyes? (Just curious.)

Brown.

8) What are you most afraid of?

Death. Not just death, but the end of life. I treasure my faith, but I weigh it equally with science. And sometimes they don’t meet in the middle. I love the idea of Heaven and an afterlife, but the possibility of being wrong depresses the shit out of me. I hate hate hate the thought of just going black when this is all over, and then there’s nothing. We just cease to exist. It terrifies me…

9) What is something you inherited from your family that has greatly effected how you see the world? (Can be anything including a story, family history, item, language etc.)

I inherited my house in Asbury Park from my dad when he passed away. He had property and all his kids got a house. But my inheritance had to be sold off to pay for my mother’s assisted living expenses and subsequent nursing home charges. It bummed me out at first, but made me stronger. It taught me that hope is nice, luck is awesome, wishes are shit and nothing is set in stone. But, most importantly, material possessions are just dust. Don’t love them too hard. There are better things in life to cherish.

10) If you could talk to one person right now, who would it be and why?

Jesus Christ. Because I gotta know.

11) Dog, cat, or both?

Cats are cool, but I’m allergic. I prefer dogs anyway. A dog’s capacity for unconditional love and affection makes my heart flutter.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. Here are my nominees…

Sacha Dichter’s Blog

Lam on the Lam

2 sojourners

DIY Made Simple

SPLICED PERSONALITY

Hated Yankees

Here are the questions…

1. What is the most interesting thing to happen to you in 2014?

2. What is your favorite non-writing/non-blogging website outside of WordPress?

3. Hipsters…cool or lame?

4. Name three things you’d rather be doing than this.

5. What was your dream job growing up?

6. What you’d say in your acceptance speech:

7. What is your least favorite food and why?

8. What do you think you have to add to the lives of those who read you on this site?

9. What do you personally get out of the material you produce on this site?

10. Name the two most awesome places you’ve ever been to.

11. Love…is it overrated or underappreciated?

Thanks guys! Not everyone likes to play these things, so it’s okay if you back out! Take care!

CNN’s Anti-Worker Villainy Rolls On With Another Appeal After Two Losses In Court!

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It’s the court case that just won’t die. After ten loooooooong years of fighting within the confines of the legal system, my former employer CNN got their asses kicked. That’s two losses in court but they still will not face the music and do the right thing by their former employees. The results included back pay and reinstatement. Now, my union has called for a rally outside their offices in NYC. Since I live in NC now, I’m gonna miss it. But it would be an IMMENSE help for anyone who believes in worker’s rights and just a fundamental law-abiding lifestyle to share this post around the internet. The more press this gets, the higher the probability that these wrongs get righted. Details below…

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A ruling of the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) earlier (last) week ordered CNN to reinstate more than 100 unionized contract TV workers who lost their jobs in a 2003 restructuring of the 24-7 network — as well as to compensate hundreds of workers who lost pay as a result of the upheaval.

CNN, as it turns out, isn’t too eager to do those things. It has sought review of the NLRB decision from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit. Asked for comment on the petition, which doesn’t lay out its appeal arguments, a CNN spokeswoman replied: “CNN disagrees with the NLRB decision and we have filed an appeal in the DC Circuit Court of Appeals.”

The move allows CNN to at least delay the rather immediate impact of the NLRB order, which gave it just 14 days to offer employment to the 100-plus former contractors who’d lost their jobs. It also ordered CNN to cover the lost earnings and benefits of those former contractors as well as the ones it eventually hired as full-time CNN staffers. The workers in question were employees of an outfit known as Team Video Services (TVS), whose primary purpose in the world was to provide the technical muscle for the news gathering activities of CNN’s New York and Washington bureaus. Employees at TVS were represented by the National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians-Communications Workers of America (NABET-CWA).

CNN’s appeal disappointed NABET-CWA President Jim Joyce: “We had hoped that CNN now, after getting two significant findings, would do the right thing,” noted Joyce, referring to this week’s NLRB decision as well as a 2008 ruling by an administrative law judge whose conclusions were supported by the board.

The decision by CNN to rid itself of the unionized contract workers came in 2003. A press release called TVS “a fine company that had done an excellent job running its business and meeting the needs of CNN.” Yet CNN wanted something different, something non-unionized. An “antiunion animus,” noted the NLRB, motivated the reorganization plan. After ending its contracts with TVS, CNN indeed went on a recruitment spree, hiring back some of the TVS workers and other applicants to work in-house at CNN, without union representation.

That all sounds abstract. The NLRB decision, however, contains salary numbers that reveal how CNN saved itself some employee overhead in the switchover. The dismissed TVS employees that CNN hired as in-house workers, it notes, earned $3,000 to $30,000 less than they’d pulled in their new positions. Some examples: Onetime TVS White
House field technician David Bacheler got a slot at CNN as a “senior photojournalist studio operator” with a pay cut of $10,000 to $30,000. Stacy Leitner, who was a studio technician under TVS, became a media coordinator with a pay cut of $5,000.

Here’s a list of things that these employees lost once they left their unionized workplace: “CNN eliminated bargaining unit employees’ contractual premiums, including meal penalties, paid lunch hours, holiday pay, and doubletime pay after working 7 consecutive days. CNN also changed the unit employees’ leave benefits by replacing TVS’ policy of carried-over annual and sick with a use-it-or-lose-it-within-28-days sick and personal leave policy,” notes the NLRB ruling.

At its crux, the NLRB ruling holds that CNN operated a joint employment arrangement with TVS in supervising the workers. CNN big-footed TVS on the workers’ terms of employment, including “staffing levels, wages, hours, overtime, and training,
among other things,” argues the majority decision signed by NLRB Chairman Mark Gaston Pearce and member Kent Y. Hirozawa. In a dissent, NLRB member Philip A. Miscimarra challenged the joint-employer finding, arguing that CNN didn’t have “any direct and immediate control over the TVS employees’ terms and conditions of employment.”

Joyce says that while CNN seeks another hearing of its case, the back-pay liabilities will continue to pile up. The case has stretched out over 11 years, after all, and “some of these people are each due several hundreds of thousands of dollars,” says Joyce. “This gets CNN more firmly entrenched in terms of how much money they’re going to have to shell out.”

Eric Wemple – Washington Post

My email from the union:

Dear NABET-CWA Local 11 members,

Please join your CWA brothers and sisters for a very important rally on Friday, September 26th, 4:30-6pm, at CNN’s New York Headquarters, on 58th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues, to let CNN know that this is not over. We are not going to stop until justice is done. We want to get this story in the press while it is hot. We want to hear your stories! Tee shirts and whistles will be provided.

Thomas A. Cappo

President

NABET-CWA Local 11

New York City

212-757-3065

Book Review: ‘The Sex Lives Of Cannibals’

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Still no real job, but I’ve been writing for a website called “NerdBastards.com.” Check me out there. Now…the review!

One would think that “The Sex Lives of Cannibals” was a psychological reference book about the libidinous habits of Hannibal Lector and friends. Actually, it refers to the historical beginnings of the peoples on a remote Pacific island called Tarawa. The ancesters of those native to the atoll apparently lost their men to invading cannibals who went on to procreate with their women through force, creating a non-descript race of islanders. Not exactly what immediately comes to mind upon reading the title of J. Maarten Troost’s first novel, a true story about his two year adventure on a small piece of land in the middle of the an endless bowl of water.

It all begins with Troost’s lethargic approach toward his job. He’s fed up with it. When his girlfriend Silvia is given the opportunity to work in a program designed to benefit the health and environment of the Gilbert Islands, Troost joins the unemployed and goes with her. Thus begins their whirlwind island lifestyle amid searing heat, lackluster living conditions, consistent health problems and just overall doing without. Many of their trials are humiliating, frustrating, inhuman and sad.

Tarawa has no waste disposal system so people relieve themselves in the ocean. Refuse piles up along its narrow roads and beaches, ignored. The author’s cement, vermin-infested dwelling place is considered prime living compared to the thatched homes of the natives. Other countries bully them, depleting their only revenue of tuna by greedily fishing in Tarawa’s coveted waters. They have no working fire trucks, have to use sticks instead of toilet paper and four hours of electricity isn’t only a rare gift, but a pleasant surprise. Dogs are disease-ridden predators that prowl in huge packs, eating their own in sheer desperation. The daily menu is fish, fish and more fish. Boil your water and you might just go a day without parasites polluting your insides. These are the things poor city-dwellers Maarten and Silvia dealt with on a daily basis from the moment they stepped off the rickety plane that had to abort its first landing because pigs were on the runway.

The best way to experience the hardships of others is to walk around in their shoes. Troost did this with reluctant gusto and there’s a feeling of dread in every chapter that most of us can’t identify with. The descriptions are harrowing, from Tarawa’s ridiculous do-nothing government to the I-Kiribati’s (pronounced Kee-ree-bas) unusual preoccupation with the song “Macarena.” The people seem amicable enough, just dealing with the cards fate dealt them in that laid-back island way. Most of them don’t know what it’s like to have a vcr or to use a toilet or have air conditioning. They don’t steal, preferring to rely on the “bubuti” system of just saying, “I bubuti you for your shirt,” or “I bubuti you for bus fare.” It sounds like an agreeable way of life at first, but it’s also a good way to go broke. Luckily(?) most of the people don’t have much anyway.

That’s just one example of Troost’s depiction of his own culture shock after settling in Tarawa. He goes on to show us much, much more. And he does it in a funny, clever prose that sometimes veers off into rambling or preaching. He benefits from his time away from the states, even when he complains of being harassed by drunken villagers. The only real drawback of the piece is the lack of personality or character in his wife-to-be, Silvia. Wasn’t she the reason they were there in the first place? Troost mostly writes about the heinous living conditions and his interactions with the I-Kiribati. Silvia is often ignored and gives very little to the experience. But that can be ovthose people have experienced enough as it is.

Update On CNN Unlawful Termination Case

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An email from…
Communication Workers of America

Tel 301/459-4999
Fax 301/459-4975
Web nabet31.org
Email info@nabet31.org
CNN NLRB Case Update

NABET – CWA
Local 31
May 22, 2014

“Dear NABET-CWA CNN Member, I am writing to update you on the National Labor Relations Board case involving CNN America and Team Video Services. As you might be aware, over the past several weeks, NABET-CWA has been engaged in a campaign to bring highly focused attention to this case. That campaign included directing all NABET-CWA members from across the country to call the office of NLRB Chairman Mark Gaston Pearce to ask two simple questions: “What is the status of the CNN case involving NABET-CWA and when will a final decision be issued?” NABET-CWA members were then asked to report in to Sector Headquarters the responses that were received from the NLRB. The NLRB received hundreds of calls, thanks to the dedication of you and members everywhere.

Many of the CNN members actually even received return calls from the NLRB to update people on the status of the case. As a result of this campaign, NABET CWA believes that a decision from the NLRB will be issued within the next few weeks. While no one yet knows what that decision will hold, the Union is very optimistic that your long overdue justice will finally be delivered.

In anticipation of a pending NLRB ruling, NABET-CWA is planning to hold rallies outside CNN’s studios in Washington, D.C. and New York City and engage in other activities promptly after the decision is issued. Those rallies will focus on telling the public the true stories of this travesty and to tell the real impact of CNN’s and Team Video’s unlawful actions on working families like yours. The rallies will also draw focus to calling on CNN immediately abide by any NLRB decision issued in this case. It is important that as many workers from the CNN case be present to participate in these rallies and other planned activities. You will joined by other NABET-CWA members, CWA members, labor activists, and social justice activists at these events. We will have an unprecedented opportunity to unite the public in support around what will hopefully be a meaningful victory in this saga.

In order to maximize the effectiveness of these activities we will need to make sure that we have the best current contact information for you, including e mail addresses, cell phone numbers, and mailing addresses. This will enable us to quickly contact you about any news concerning the NLRB decision and related activities.

We will also need this updated contact information to contact you should there be any issues with the NLRB providing remedies, such as back pay and reinstatement.

http://www.nabetcwa.org ;
Through your assistance and perseverance, we believe that a righteous decision from the NLRB is on the doorstep. While no one should ever have to wait a decade to receive justice, we must do everything that we can now, based on our information that a decision is coming soon, to send CNN a swift, loud and comprehensive message that their actions were unlawful and that NABET-CWA members deserve all remedies immediately.

In the meantime, feel free to contact the Local 31 office at 301-495-4999

In Solidarity,
Rich McDermott
President
NABET-CWA Local 31, Washington, D.C.”

A Resume Trick For Getting That Dream Job

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Getting work has been a real son-of-a-bitch and pretty soon I'll be eating Vienna sausages for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Damn good thing I like Vienna sausages. However, I'm kinda more looking forward to those PB&J sandwiches for dessert. Jesus, somebody just kill me please.

Without the software resources to keep tailoring my resume for every job I go for, I spend a lot of time at the library. I get passed over for tons of jobs I should have presented to me on a silver platter, and my ego has nothing to do with it. Technology is to blame for my hunger and desperation, and I'll tell you why:  companies get so many resumes per job that many of them leave it to an electronic "sorter" to weed the wheat from the chaff. Even when you're perfectly good wheat, you can get lost in the trash shuffle because the sorter doesn't find the words its looking for on your resume.

And as impressive as my resume is, it won't get seen for that very reason. So I decided that I needed to insert those key words into my resume somehow without compromising my documented work history. Here's how I do it…

ONE

This is Bruce Highballer’s resume. Of the Rhode Island Highballers, thank you very much. Let’s ignore the questionable work he put into designing it and stick to the topic of “How To Trick The Sorter.”

TWO

So you’re dancing around the internet, doing a little job search soft shoe when you find your DREAM JOB! That’s right, since birth you’ve been aching for that Brand Marketing Specialist gig in southern America! Let’s click on that sucker and get the lowdown on living the fantasy.

THREE

Oh look – words and such. None of which are on Bruce’s resume. But they will be. This is when you take the strongest words VERBATIM from the job post. 1. Highlight and copy them onto your clipboard. 2. Start pricing yachts!

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Now…search around the resume for blank spaces. Luckily Bruce has employed a template from Openoffice, the broke ass version of Word, because if he had Microsoft money, my cable wouldn’t be out right now.  I mean Bruce’s cable. Yeah, Bruce. And that cheapo template has a space underneath EDUCATION that suits our needs just fine. This is where you insert all the best words, gibberish style. It will make no sense when viewed with the naked eye. Blah freakin’ blah. Find spaces all over the resume for these inserts and paste them in willy nilly.

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Now the fun part. Highlight your gibberish and change their font to white. This only works if your resume is white to begin with. You don’t want to use some fancy colored paper, otherwise the white words will show up on the document once it’s printed if you plan on using snail mail to apply for a job.

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Congrats, you have just tricked the sorter! All of its favorite search words are inserted into your resume. It sees them just fine, but the naked eye has no idea they’re there. I was halfway skeptical about this when I first heard of it, but since applying this technique, I’ve gotten nearly three times as many phone calls and interviews. Because that’s what’s most important – getting noticed and/or invited in. But there’s a major catch that I have to point out. I use Indeed.com for many job searches, and the site allows for you to upload your resume for quick “one touch” applications for certain jobs. When you upload your resume to the site, it turns your white words black and it really DOES look like gibberish. Keep that in mind and happy hunting.

And feel free to post any job search tricks of your own! Because that unemployment extension bill just ain’t happening!

Book Review: 100 Years Of Soli…I mean, House Of The Spirits

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“House Of The Spirits” is an inferior reflection of “100 Years Of Solitude.” It really is the same book. The same ripped-off book.

Told in a weird narrative that flip flops from first person to third – (and sloppily too) – “House of the Spirits” is about 4 generations of a very turbulent family in South America. The main character is Esteban Trueba, who is as fierce with his temper as he is with his genitals (he’s rapey.) He literally runs the town of Tres Marias with an iron fist, having built it up from nothing into a strong, industrial corner of the country. He’s a jerk and almost nobody likes him but he forces himself on people because he hates being alone. Think of a more violent and vengeful Michael Scott from “The Office.” Nobody has a choice either – he’s the boss and what he says goes. Or they get hurt/raped. Tough way to live.

His wife is Clara, a woman with super powers and an aloof but ignorant demeanor. Her very existence is way too akin to the wild machinations that drove many a plot in “Solitude.” Everything she does is far-fetched and stretched as she goes around reading minds and performing acts of telekinesis like Jean Grey from The X-Men.

Her late sister was Rosa The Beautiful, who like “Solitude’s” Remedios The Beauty, is so ridiculously captivating that she dies young because no one so gorgeous should have to deal with the rigors of time hurting their peerless looks.

Clara has twins who, like the twins in “Solitude,” are absolutely nothing alike and take different paths in life. Ferula is her sister-in-law, a virgin spinster like Amaranta in “Solitude.” Her son-in-law is Jean Satigny, a foreign, girly snob who has hands as soft as baby smiles – you know, like Pietro Crespi in “Solitude.” Wait…WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!

“Solitude” was written in ’69, “House” in 82. “Solitude” won the Nobel Prize, “House” was a bestseller. “Solitude” has the word “solitude” on almost every 400-plus page, “House” has it a lot. “House” wants to be “Solitude” so bad! But it has one simple problem: It’s not as good as “Solitude.”

I want to ask Isabelle Allende something: Do you have any books that YOU’VE written? I like your style, so perhaps I’ll check your stuff out again. I just wanna make sure that you’ve written something that wasn’t written already. I don’t need any “The Picasso Riddle,” “The Baron of Monte Carlo”…you know, more rip offs. I need a real, original book from you and if you can do that, I’ll take a look. Just don’t bullshit me anymore.

The weird part is, I really liked the book because, heck…I loved “100 Years Of Solitude!” So I guess I like chocolate cupcakes because I like chocolate cake. One is the lesser form of the other.

So, I’m not recommending this book. I want to expand my mind and learn new things, not go 400 pages repeating someone else’s work. Now, I’ll see the movie starring Jeremy Irons, Glenn Close and Winona Ryder. Oh, and Antonio Banderas, somehow the only freakin’ Hispanic actor in the whole damned thing.

4 Reasons Why Quentin Tarantino Is An Asshole

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When an ugly man is as much a screenplay writing hack as he is a screenplay writing genius, you bet on him. Every single time. Then, a star is born and it never burns out.

You also get a director out of the deal; two-for-one. How appetizing! Like a California Roll lunch special.

The only difference being, once you’re done with the roll, it’s gone. When this particularly coveted writer/director combo is finished, money falls from the sky.

That pair is none other than Quentin Tarantino. And I’ve got four reasons why he’s the biggest asshole in Hollywood.

1. He Makes The Same Movie Over And Over Again And We Just Keep Falling For It.

When “Pulp Fiction” came out, I thought it was brilliant. I couldn’t believe what I was watching. Sure it’s too talky, but so thrilling that I had to check out this new upstart’s other works. And they were all like “Pulp Fiction.” Vaguely different protagonists – all anti-heroes, doing the same immoral bullshit as the last. Chatty chatty chatty, killy killy killy, racist racist racist racist. Now and again you get something different like “Django Unchained,” but it’s all essentially the same crap in dire need of strong editing.

2. He’s Obsessed With Kitsch

His one-trick pony ride is almost obsessive compulsive. “Jackie Brown,” “True Romance,” “Death Proof,” “Reservoir Dogs,” “Inglorious Basterds.” WTF is the deal with the two-word movies? Superstition? Pretension? None of my business? I know what it is: He fell in love with a piece of style somewhere along the way and won’t divorce it.

Fine, whatever. But the most grating aspect of this approach is that the pretensions bleed into the script! His long-winded dialog about nothing going nowhere is so hard to take sometimes that I find myself fast-forwarding through several minutes of utter uselessness. And these are the movies I like! The most glaring culprit of this is “Death Proof.” What a boring fucking film! Jesus H. Christ, nobody talks like that! Are long paragraphs of soliloquy packed with pop culture ramblings really that important to the goddam story?? And though I love his music choices, every damn song sounds the same. Somehow this douche makes “Across 110th Street” sound like “Son Of A Preacher Man.”

3. He’s Not Above Biting Your Ideas

There was a run there when he was getting credit for everything that wasn’t his. How I cringed when I saw Uma Thurman wearing Bruce Lee’s yellow jumpsuit while she took down Yakuza dressed like Bruce Lee Kato clones during a very Matrix style bumrush from “Kill Bill” (two word movie). An homage only goes as far as what your audience remembers, and his young fans don’t get the fifty-plus martial arts movie references he “borrowed” to pad his runtime. Fifty…plus.

And what’s up with tagging his name onto several international films that he had nothing to do with? Because his company distributed them to American audiences, we’ve got to see “Flying Dragons, brought to you by Quentin Tarrantino.” Really? What a dick move that is. I’ve never seen that done before, ever. Martin Scorsese has worked tirelessly to restore old films, but you don’t see his name on “A Double Life” like he made the damn thing himself.

And speaking of an uninformed audience, my final quibble is completely lost on them.

4. He’s Racist

And he doesn’t care who knows it. Sure, he talks about his growing up around black folks and being in touch with the black experience and all manner of like bullshit, but no no no…that jackoff is a racist. His brain is commanded by that one ugly racial slur against blacks that he absolutely has to spew from actors’ mouths like it’s an addiction. It has literally taken over his life. You might think my theory a far-fetched one, but I’m open to debate. YOU tell me why all his movies are littered with that vulgar n-word. Why does “Django Unchained” have the record for using it over 100+ times? Because it’s a slave movie? Are you kidding? Hell yes this fucker couldn’t wait to do a slave movie. And so many young viewers don’t get it – they think I’m being too sensitive. “It doesn’t bother me, what’s the big deal?” Don’t talk about stuff you don’t understand, kid. The terrible experiences black people have gone through because of that word. You have no idea.

And don’t say he’s not racist because his black characters always win. Don’t be naive. If I kicked you in the genitals a hundred times, then gave you an Apple Store gift card, did you really win? Please…

And Hollywood keeps paying him because he makes them money. And let’s face it, “Django” and “Fiction” were amazing movies, so he’s got what it takes. He just needs to lose some creative control. A discerning script editor with even stronger script approval from someone with some HR experience would be nice. And a film editor who could trim away lots of fat is a good idea too. Editing is your friend. Both “Magnolia” and “Boogie Nights” would’ve been awesome works if that director had an editor worth a shit. I don’t even want to talk about Peter Jackson…

I could put up with the two-word fetish if someone would just put a leash on this clown. I’d enjoy a lot more of his movies that way too, especially if I were a black audience member not being alienated.

But until then yeah – 4 reasons why he’s an asshole.