A Resume Trick For Getting That Dream Job

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Getting work has been a real son-of-a-bitch and pretty soon I'll be eating Vienna sausages for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Damn good thing I like Vienna sausages. However, I'm kinda more looking forward to those PB&J sandwiches for dessert. Jesus, somebody just kill me please.

Without the software resources to keep tailoring my resume for every job I go for, I spend a lot of time at the library. I get passed over for tons of jobs I should have presented to me on a silver platter, and my ego has nothing to do with it. Technology is to blame for my hunger and desperation, and I'll tell you why:  companies get so many resumes per job that many of them leave it to an electronic "sorter" to weed the wheat from the chaff. Even when you're perfectly good wheat, you can get lost in the trash shuffle because the sorter doesn't find the words its looking for on your resume.

And as impressive as my resume is, it won't get seen for that very reason. So I decided that I needed to insert those key words into my resume somehow without compromising my documented work history. Here's how I do it…

ONE

This is Bruce Highballer’s resume. Of the Rhode Island Highballers, thank you very much. Let’s ignore the questionable work he put into designing it and stick to the topic of “How To Trick The Sorter.”

TWO

So you’re dancing around the internet, doing a little job search soft shoe when you find your DREAM JOB! That’s right, since birth you’ve been aching for that Brand Marketing Specialist gig in southern America! Let’s click on that sucker and get the lowdown on living the fantasy.

THREE

Oh look – words and such. None of which are on Bruce’s resume. But they will be. This is when you take the strongest words VERBATIM from the job post. 1. Highlight and copy them onto your clipboard. 2. Start pricing yachts!

four

Now…search around the resume for blank spaces. Luckily Bruce has employed a template from Openoffice, the broke ass version of Word, because if he had Microsoft money, my cable wouldn’t be out right now.  I mean Bruce’s cable. Yeah, Bruce. And that cheapo template has a space underneath EDUCATION that suits our needs just fine. This is where you insert all the best words, gibberish style. It will make no sense when viewed with the naked eye. Blah freakin’ blah. Find spaces all over the resume for these inserts and paste them in willy nilly.

five

Now the fun part. Highlight your gibberish and change their font to white. This only works if your resume is white to begin with. You don’t want to use some fancy colored paper, otherwise the white words will show up on the document once it’s printed if you plan on using snail mail to apply for a job.

six

Congrats, you have just tricked the sorter! All of its favorite search words are inserted into your resume. It sees them just fine, but the naked eye has no idea they’re there. I was halfway skeptical about this when I first heard of it, but since applying this technique, I’ve gotten nearly three times as many phone calls and interviews. Because that’s what’s most important – getting noticed and/or invited in. But there’s a major catch that I have to point out. I use Indeed.com for many job searches, and the site allows for you to upload your resume for quick “one touch” applications for certain jobs. When you upload your resume to the site, it turns your white words black and it really DOES look like gibberish. Keep that in mind and happy hunting.

And feel free to post any job search tricks of your own! Because that unemployment extension bill just ain’t happening!

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